Words from a V-Man Extraordinaire

"It is not our fault the world is the way it is, but it is our responsibility" - Derek Dujardin

Vagina Warriors welcomed Derek with a delicious dinner 

As we advertised earlier, Derek Dujardin visited Westminster during his tour of the US and Canada. Derek is the founder, writer, and performer of The MENding Monologues, a new theatre movement designed to bring men into the conversation around sexual violence. His presentation incorporated a few monologues from his show as he led the group through the philosophy and goal of MENding. You can read  "For Linda," "R U My 2:15?," and "Tantra," at the MENding website. 

Derek reminded us that Vagina Warriors should continually think of what type of world we are working towards.  Here are some ways the audience answered the question "what kind of world do you want women to live in?":

• One where safety isn't the primary concern
• One where women can self-actualize without depending on masculine standards
• One where we empathize with one another
• One where labels are unimportant
• One where we value positive female role models

 Probably the most significant part of Derek's presentation was a guide to challenging other people's view with an open heart. He specifically applied this to instances where a man might hold hurtful or ignorant views of women and sexual violence. I've briefly outlined his process

Derek's presentation was well-attended and interactive.

1. Identify the person's belief or behavior 
1. Figure out the issue at hand (e.g.; women in an abusive relationship deserve it)
2. Get curious about the other person's views 
1. Ask questions and show interest in what they believe
3. Ask permission to examine their idea
1. Focus on the idea, not the person
4. Discuss what they are committed to
1. Identify their personal values (e.g.; women should be treated respectfully)
5. Show how the belief or behavior is at odds with what they are committed to
1.  Demonstrate how physically, emotionally, and sexually abusing women is not respectful behavior
6. Share your own experience
1. Empathize with them and show it is truly possible for them to follow their commitments

It is important to avoid SHAMING during this process.  Shame immediately excludes the other person - it is not a welcoming and understanding experience.

For more information on Derek, visit his website.

~ Peace and Happiness ~
Stacy
Vagina Warrior Extraordinaire

A Very Special Visit

Derek Dujardin, creator of The MENding Monologues, is joining V-Day next week!

Possibly the most inspiring thing I've seen develop in V-Day is the inclusion of men in the fight against sexual violence. It seems as though the language of "violence against women" has gained more nuance in the term "gender violence." Discussing gender violence, whether it be against men, women, trans, or any other gender, invites more voices to join the conversation. It also reminds us that sexual violence does not exclusively target women.

One of the most outspoken advocates against gender violence is Derek Dujardin, creator of The MENding Monologues. Like The Vagina Monologues, MENding uses theatre as a medium to speak out. Derek encourages men to find their voice, join the conversation, and examine the true cost of violence in their lives and begin the healing process. 

Derek's visit on March 15th will include two events:

A MEN'S ONLY workshop and discussion will inspire and enable guys to examine how gender violence affects the women in their lives and what they can about it.

HWAC Special Events Room, 3:00 pm - 4:00 pm

More info at the Facebook event page.

An exclusive performance of "The Masculine Advocate: Empowering Men to Win the War on Gender Violence" for MEN and WOMEN that draws from MENding eight practices to empower men to take an active role in stopping gender violence in our community.

HWAC Special Events Room, 7:30 pm - 9:00 pm

More info at the Facebook event page.

More about Derek Dujardin and The MENding Monologues can be found at http://www.themending.org/

You can also check out the international V-Men movement at www.vday.org/meet-vday/v-men

New to the Westminster campus? Visit the Campus Map to find your way to the Dolores Dore Eccles Health, Wellness and Athletic Center (Number 12).

~ Peace and Happiness ~

Stacy

Vagina Warrior Extraordinaire

We're Not Done Yet!

V-Men is just getting started!

While we were preparing The Vagina Monologues, our V-Men have been busy getting some events together. These men-folk are invaluable to stopping sexual violence. As Vagina Warriors, they act as advocates and role-models for a vagina-happy world. V-Men, as an international movement, has been picking up steam for the last couple years. Hundreds to men have hosted workshops around the world, speaking out to one another and contributing to the conversation about sexual violence. You can visit http://www.vday.org/meet-vday/v-men to learn more about the movement.

Tough Guise poster

V-Day at Westminster began openly hosting V-Men three years ago, at the time a simple meeting asking the pivotal question, "What is men's role in stopping sexual violence?" From that single meeting in 2009, we've expanded V-Men into workshops and movie screening

Most exciting thing of all, we're still expanding! Some events we have coming up:

Screening of the documentary Tough Guise: Violence, Media and the Crisis in Masculinity.

Tough Guise is no stranger to Westminster. It was screened a couple years ago and it's time for it to come back! The documentary examines the pop-culture and social representation of masculinity. Furthermore, the film argeus that the prevalence of violence committed by young men results from a crisis in masculinity. You can learn more about the film at Jackson Katz's website: http://www.jacksonkatz.com/video2.html

Tough Guise will be screened on Monday, March 7 at 7:30 pm in Malouf 127. 

Derek Dujardin

Presentation by Derek Dujardin, the writer of the MENding Monologues
For the past five years, Derek has helped write personal monologues that help countless men heal by getting in touch with what the true cost of gender violence is to their relationships. The monologues focus on what he calls "second-hand abuse" or "collateral damage done to men via the abuse done to the women in their lives." Find out more about the MENding Monologues at http://www.themending.org/index.php.

Derek will be at Westminster March 15th with a V-Men Workshop during the day from 3:00 pm - 4:00 pm  and a presentation of "The Masculine Advocate: Empowering Men to Win the War on Gender Violence" in the evening from 7:00 pm - 8:30 pm. Both events will be in the HWAC Special Events Room.

I'll keep you updated on other V-Men events around the corner!

~ Peace and Happiness ~

Stacy

Vagina Warrior Extraordinaire

Continuing the Conversation

We are only a small part of the conversation to stop sexual violence.

One of our goals at V-Day at Westminster is to provide resources that continue the conversations surrounding sexual violence. We're only a small part of what goes on. If you'd like to learn more about what's out there, please visit some of these links to show your support.

Image Source: Rape Recovery Center

The Rape Recovery Center

 www.raperecoverycenter.org

Our beneficiary for nine years, the Rape Recovery Center works to empower those victimized by sexual violence through advocacy, crisis intervention, and therapy and to educate the community about the cause, impact, and prevention of sexual violence. They're a great resource for victims seeking affordable counseling and supporters seeking a more active involvement in stopping sexual violence.

Unified Police Department 

http://updsl.org/divisions/investigations/domesticviolence.html

Salt Lake's Unified Police Department provides legal services to victims of domestic abuse and assault. They also have information about advocacy centers, emergency assistance, financial assistance, and counseling.

Image Source: RAINN

Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network (RAINN)

www.rainn.org

 RAINN is the nation's largest anti-sexual violence organization. It provides online and caller hotlines, information on sexual violence, and opportunities to get involved. It's especially involved in improving public policy. RAINN representatives have testified in Congress on issues ranging from DNA to sexual assault in the military. They work most intensively to solve the huge backlog of untested DNA evidence in open rape cases. 
  
 

Image Source: Jackson Katz Website

Jackson Katz

www.jacksonkatz.org

www.huffingtonpost.com/jackson-katz

Jackson Katz is one of the leading male anti-sexist activist, speaker, author, filmmaker, and theorist. He's internationally recognized for his work in gender violence education with men and boys. In fact, V-Day at Westminster screened his movie "Tough Guise" on campus last year. His blog at Huffington Post addresses some of these issues and is a great place to learn how men and boys can stop sexual violence. I admire his recent post "What to Say to Boys and Young Men About Big Ben" to be an important point of view when it comes to the Superbowl (Yay Packers!). For those of you who don't know, the Steeler's quarterback Ben "Big Ben" Rothlisberger was accused of sexually assaulting a young woman in a bar last March.

And The Curtain Closes

V-Week and The Vagina Monologues finally end, a bittersweet moment for all

The Westminster section of the Clothesline

For me, finishing The Vagina Monologues is always a mix of feelings.It's relieving to have finished the event, to see the product of your effort completed; and yet, it won't be another year until you experience the V-Week again. But I suppose the fact that V-Week only occurs once a year makes it that more special and impactful.

All the Vagina Warriors would like to thank everyone who came to the show. From Thursday and Friday ticket sales alone, we raised $4,500! Since Saturday also sold out (and then some), we expect our ticket sales to be huge!

Our Healing Tree in the Shaw Center

I'll post pictures from The Vagina Monologues later tonight, but for now I'll leave you with some more pictures from V-Week.


~ Peace and Happiness ~
Stacy
Vagina Warrior Extraordinaire

What's Red, Loud and Exciting?

What's red, loud and exciting?

 V-Week, of course!

A V-Heart in front of the Meldrum Science Center

On Monday morning, students and faculty of Westminster arrived to a red-filled campus. That's because we hosted our annual "Paint the Campus Red" on Sunday the 30th. Our goal was to make sure everyone saw red everywhere they looked. In the past, it's been our most effective publicity technique, making V-Day and The Vagina Monologues very visible on campus. Everything announces: "Pay attention! The Vagina Monologues are at the end of the week and you don't want to miss them!"

Clothesline t-shirts line the stairwell in Jewett

Part of "Paint the Campus Red" also involves hanging the Clothesline Project in the Jewett Performing Arts Center. The 200 shirts create a very impactful display with hundreds of stories of violence exposed to the community. Again, the Clothesline Project aims to share the stories behind the statistics, creating a space for survivors to begin healing from their trauma. You can check out more at www.clotheslineproject.org.

Ben, a V-Man, sells delicious goodies in Shaw

To add to the excitement of V-Week, V-Day and the Student's Honors Council (SHC) host a bake sale in the Shaw Student Center. It's five days of crazy fun filled with red, red and more red.  And, of course, our famous CHOCOLATE VAGINA POPS! I wait every year for them, they're delicious-melt-in-your mouth chocolate. Interestingly enough, they're manufactured by Dream Chocolates in Boise, ID. Who'd have thought that something so scandalous and delicious would come out of such a conservative state? 

We'll see you at the Monologues!

~ Peace and Happiness ~

Stacy

Vagina Warrior Extraordinaire

Keeyah!

 Self-defense can help prevent assault. It's important to know!

So, V-Day at Westminster offered a self-defense class for ladies to refresh their skills in defending from an attacker. Neva, a Vagina Warrior and cast member, led the class.

Who says little women can't fight?

We largely practiced defending against being grabbed by the wrist, dragged by the arms, attacked from behind, and attacked from the front. Then, to round it off, we swung at each other with padded bats! For several minutes we were 12-yr olds again.

Here are the basics of what Neva taught the group:

Rules to Remember:

1. Movies are not reality

2. Physically engaging an assailant can make things much worse

3. Avoid putting yourself in vulnerable situations





De-escalating a situation is often your best defense! You can do this by speaking or acting in ways that prevent things from getting worse. For example, give a robber your money rather than trying to fight or run.

A couple of STRONG Vagina Warriors!

Ways to reduce your risk of assault:

1. Understand your surroundings. Walk or hang out in areas that are open, well-lit and well-traveled.

2. Avoid shortcuts that take you through isolated areas.

3. If you're going out at night, travel in a group.

4. Make sure your friends, roommates,
SOMEONE know your daily schedule.

5. Ask your self if you feel comfortable and safe in a situation where you hang out with other people.

6. Be sure your body language shows a sense of confidence.

7. When riding public transportation, sit near the driver and stay awake.

8. Carry a cell phone if possible.

9. Be willing to report crimes in your neighborhood and school to the police.


Be safe out there ladies and gentlemen!

~ Peace and Happiness ~
Stacy
Vagina Warrior Extraordinaire

 We are telling the stories behind the statistics. We are breaking the silence.

Shirts from previous years

"I want to thank everyone for being courageous enough to share your stories and support one another," said a participant in the Shirts & Stories Night yesterday. In an evening filled with compassion, several women came together to share their experiences with sexual, emotional, and physical abuse, and offered support and love to one another.

Cassidy and Erika painting their shirts in the hallway.

Shirts & Stories Night began in 2008 as Westminster's contribution to The Clothesline Project.  The Clothesline aims to raise awareness by "bearing witness to violence against women." Oftentimes, we are overwhelmed and bombarded with statistics and we forget what the numbers mean.  The Clothesline consists of many different colored shirts, each decorated with the story of a victim or survivor. You can learn more about the Clothesline at www.clotheslineproject.org. Our Shirts & Stories Night provides a safe space for women (and sometimes men) to share their experiences and complete a shirt. The shirts are hung during V-Week in the Jewett Center for Performing Arts along with 200 other shirts from around Utah, which we borrow from Utah Valley University.

Erika, Neva, and Jill before the story telling

Last night, Erika Workman, a coach who specializes in emotional healing and creating self love, led the group by setting the intention to respect and help one another heal. Some shared their stories, others voiced their support. Erika did a wonderful job at moderating the discussion and helping the group release negative emotions.




This was my fourth time going to the event and it was one of the most fulfilling. Everything felt open and supportive like we were truly safe with one another.  My only wish is that more people could have experienced it.  

Blank shirts waiting to be decorated.  Each color represents a different type of abuse.

There will be a private room open for people to decorate shirts at The Vagina Monologues.  Everything will be confidential.  You can also take home a shirt to decorate it there and there is no obligation to hang your shirt. Both men and women are welcome to contribute to The Clothesline Project.





~ Peace and Happiness ~
Stacy
Vagina Warrior Extraordinaire

What's Going on During V-Week?

 We officially declare January 31st - February 5th as V-Week!

The week leading up to The Vagina Monologues is full of vagina-happy events. Bright patches of red cover the Westminster campus: statistics, hearts, and ribbons. Volunteers also hang out in the Shaw student center, promoting V-Day events and wrapping ribbons around the wrists of people who sign the "These Hands Don't Hurt" poster. 

Laura, the same lovely lady who designed the show poster, also designed a poster listing all of V-Week's events. Take a look and save the date!

~ Peace and Happiness ~

Stacy

Vagina Warrior Extraordinaire

Our Lovely Show Poster!

One of the most important things about The Vagina Monologues is the show poster!

Traditionally, a V-Day volunteer designs the poster. Each one is unique, each reflecting the spirit of the annual show. They are distributed to businesses throughout the Salt Lake valley and posted around campus.

This year's poster was designed by Laura (whose profile is in an earlier post). The small print in the background is V-Day's official mission statement, which you can read at www.vday.org/mission. I think she did a spectacular job! Leave your comments and let her know how much you like it!

~ Peace and Happiness ~

Stacy

Vagina Warrior Extraordinaire

You Might Be A Budding Vagina Warrior If...

Becoming a Vagina Warrior is a journey.  It takes time, patience, and guts.  I remember when I first started on the road to wearing the red and black. I was shy and quiet and the word "vagina" stuck in my mouth like peanut butter. Gradually, I loosened up as I came to realize just how important it was for me to break the silence surrounding sexual assault. I spoke out for myself and others.  It was time I added my voice to those around me.

Whatever your level of support -- the active volunteer or quiet supporter -- everyone who opposes sexual violence can be a Vagina Warrior.  They may be the guy at the party stopping an abusive situation. They may be the woman reading a monologue. They may be the person who donates their time to a domestic violence shelter. A Vagina Warrior joins a group of wild, unstoppable activists.  We are people who welcome fellow Warriors in our fight and support each other through our battles.

Time for all you Vagina Warriors to come out of the closet and JOIN US!

So, you might be a budding Vagina Warrior if...

1. You believe that women should be able to live safely and freely. 

Image Source: www.vday.org; Eve Ensler at Jumpin' in the Pink for V TO THE TENTH

2. You've been to a V-Day event like our Naked Lady Clothing Party clothing exchange.

Volunteers preparing clothes for the Naked Lady Clothing Party

3. You or a loved one have been affected by sexual violence and you're ready to break the silence.

4. You've seen The Vagina Monologues, but haven't auditioned.

The Vagina Monologues 2010

5. You can say "vagina" in public...almost. 

6. You read the red statistic signs around campus during V-Week.

7. You ate a milk chocolate vagina pop and actually liked it. 

Student Honors Council chocolate vagina pop sale 2009

 8. You're fascinated by Law and Order: SVU, but want something more. 

9. You work at/own a business that supports V-Day at Westminster.

A strong, confident Vagina Warrior

10. You feel that survivors should thrive and create rather than just recover from terrible trauma.

~Peace and Happiness~
Stacy
Vagina Warrior Extraordinaire

Yummy Food Makes Vaginas Happy

As we get closer and closer to the opening night of The Vagina Monologues, more donors have rallied to our cause!

As someone who enjoys good food (who doesn't?), I'm impressed with how many delicious restaurants have agreed to donate to our silent auction. If I go broke bidding on these delicious gift cards, it's all their fault. We have the college student's pizza heaven. We have the sophisticated foodie's retreat. We have the valentine sweetheart's perfect gift. Really, we have a great line-up.

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First up, the "People's Choice for Utah's Best Pizza for Over 30 years"! 

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Image source: www.thepie.com

The Pie Pizzeria

This edgy pizza place now delivers its famous pizza by mail anywhere in the United States.

www.thepie.com

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On deck, the restaurant group that teaches us the "art of good eating"

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Image source: www.ginc.com

Gastronomy, Inc.

The Market Street Oyster Bars serve (of course) oysters, lobster, shrimp, crab, mussels and clams. Remarkably, this seafood is good. Practically unheard of in a semi-arid land-locked state. 

www.ginc.com

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In the hole, those looking for a great Valentine's gift need look no further than professional chocolates. 

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Image source: www.cummingsstudiochocolages.com

Cummings Studio Chocolates

A long-time supporter of V-Day, Cummings has been around since 1924 and specializes in multiple kinds of sweets and treats. I personally like their Rum Victoria Pecans and annual chocolate-covered strawberries. And don't forget their amazing high heel shoe mold. A fashionable chocolate shoe! 

www.cummingsstudiochocolates.com

I'll put up a complete list of our donors just as soon as we compile them all.  Thanks to every business willing to support V-Day!

~Peace and Happiness~

Stacy

Vagina Warrior Extraordinare 

"I Refuse to Stand Idle While This Happens"

V-Day is more than fundraising -- it's the wonderful people who dedicate themselves to the campaign. They are true Vagina Warriors. 

I'll be posting profiles of some of our Vagina Warriors so that you can see the people behind the scenes. 

Cris

Cris has rocked the "Angry Vagina" and "The Little Coochie Snorcher That Could" monologues in years past.

  

When did you become a Vagina Warrior? What inspired you to join V-Day?

I first became inspired to join the V-Day campaign after seeing Westminster's production of The Vagina Monologues. I was deeply moved by the stories of women that have survived sexual violence. I wanted to do something to raise awareness and work toward ending the violence. 

To you, why is it important to stop sexual violence?

Every human being has a right to their own body. No one can tell you what to do with your body, especially if it is something to which you object. Unfortunately, many individuals continue to have their rights violated by others. As a fellow human, I refuse to stand idle while this happens. I'm only one person, but I will give all myself to the cause because sexual violence is one of the worst forms of terrorism on this planet. And just like the V-Day campaign declares, I will fight "until the violence stops."

What is your favorite monologue from the show?

My favorite monologue is "My Vagina Was My Village." It's not a funny piece, but it's my favorite because it is so powerful. I feel that it is easy for many of us to ignore what is happening around the world because we are in our happy American bubble. It's important for us to recognize the sexual violence that takes place everywhere, from the house next door to a country on the other side of the planet. 

Is there anything that makes you an outrageous Warrior? Any catch phrase? Accessory? 

I don't really have a catch phrase, but my vagina is my weapon of choice. :) I'm currently working on designing a rear window decal for my truck to promote the V-Day campaign for 2011. It should be interesting to see what kind of reactions I get from others. Any attention will be good. I want people to ask questions because it raises awareness.

If your vagina could talk, what would it say?

"Won't you be my neighbor?" It wants other vaginas to join the fight.

~Peace and Happiness~

Stacy

Vagina Warrior Extraordinaire

"Fun, Frisky, Upbeat, and Packs a Punch!"

V-Day is more than fundraising -- it's the wonderful people who dedicate themselves to the campaign. They are true Vagina Warriors. 

I'll be posting profiles of some of our Vagina Warriors so that you can see the people behind the scenes.  

Cassidy

An outdoor enthusiast, Cassidy finds time to explore the Wasatch and market V-Day 2011.

 

When did you become a Vagina Warrior? What inspired you to you to join V-Day?

I had two vivid V-Day revelations my freshman year. First, my roommate told me that she had immediately deleted an email about The Vagina Monologues because she was mortified by the title. This thoughtless reaction from a smart, fun girl who blasted songs that graphically described the female body (and things to do with it) just didn’t sit right with me. Second, I saw my first performance of The Vagina Monologues, and I thought, “I don’t know exactly what all this is about, but I know it’s powerful.” I performed in the Monologues my sophomore year, and my involvement has escalated every year since.

To you, why is it important to stop sexual violence?
The V-Day movement has adopted “until the violence stops” as its shorthand mantra; similarly, the reason V-Day resonates with me is it defends the position that sexual violence shouldn’t happen AT ALL. For
me, I guess the point isn’t the stats or the numbers. Regardless ofrates or sample sizes or survey conditions, I think that this issue affects more than just the individuals who are abused. Sexual violence and violence against women is a global problem that degrades societies from their cores, and the simple fact that it continues and we’re not outraged reflects our collective sense of social ethic and dignity. To me, it’s unacceptable.
 

What is your favorite monologue from the show?

"My Short Skirt" is fun, frisky, upbeat, and packs a punch. It promotes pride and ownership of your own body to insist that you can do anything. It provides a buoyant change of pace in the show and leaves everyone feeling empowered.

Is there anything that makes you an outrageous Warrior?

I really just want to talk. If through civil, compassionate conversation I can show people that their choices powerfully affect social perception, then, well, I’m satisfied.

If your vagina could talk, what would it say? 

“So many beautiful reasons I have to be happy how I am”

~Peace and Happiness~

Stacy

Vagina Warrior Extraordinaire

"Comfortable In My Own Skin"

V-Day is more than fundraising -- it's the wonderful people who dedicate themselves to the campaign. They are true Vagina Warriors. 

I'll be posting profiles of some of our Vagina Warriors so that you can see the people behind the scenes

Laura

Laura has worked hard and helped Publicity and Arts this year and last. She's played a major role in designing the show poster for 2011! 

When did you become a Vagina Warrior? What inspired you to join V-Day? 

I became an official Vagina Warrior two years ago when I participated in my first Vagina Monologues production.  I read The Vagina Monologues in high school and was one-third scandalized, one-third thrilled, and one-third amazed.  It was my dream to participate in the show.

To you, why is it important to stop sexual violence? 

Sexual violence isn't something that's openly talked about.  It's a topic for hushed corners and cop shows.  It's something that appears around the world, and it needs to be confronted.

What is your favorite monologue from the show?  

I love "The Vagina Workshop."  It was my first monologue, and it expanded my comfort level to no extent!  I definitely helped me grow and become more comfortable in my own skin.

 

Is there anything that makes you an outrageous Warrior? Any catch phrase? Accessory? 

Buying chocolate vagina pops for my mom and all of her friends last year was fun...

If your vagina could talk, what would it say? 

It would say..."Adventure time!"

~Peace and Happiness~

Stacy

Vagina Warrior Extraordinaire